So first of all…. Thank you so much to everyone who has congratulated us, sent cards and gifts, and to those who traveled to Hawaii to join Joel & I at our wedding. We are so grateful to all of our friends and family for the support you have given us!
Joel and I have been married over 9 weeks now and I still get asked quite often “how’s married life?” Or “are things different now that you’re married?” Speaking only for myself, being married hasn’t changed much. Should it have? We’ve been together over 10 years, have lived together for 8. I suppose it should scare me. I mean, if we decide to break up it takes a lot more than me packing my bags and leaving. If I intended on doing that, I would have done it long ago. I’m pretty sure the same could be said for Joel too! But day to day life has been the same… When he’s home! I guess it has been weird that we have actually spent half of our married life apart. Joel traveling the world for weeks at a time. But that’s not new.
Still, nothing has changed being married. Joel’s tardiness and other little quirks still bug me. I still want to beat him when he throws things in the trash without a bag in it or making me eat dinner after 8:pm because if his Feldman-time schedule. Why would thirty-some years of being who he is change after getting married? People are silly to think that a person will change who they are once they are married. You’ve got to love and accept the person as they are before you marry them and not expect them to be different. You always hear people say “I thought he’d change after we got married.”
There’s still that worry in the back of my mind that in the eyes of my state, my relationship doesn’t matter. Even though we are legally married, and the federal government recognizes our union, my state seems to be willing to do whatever it can to invalidate our marriage. Until that changes, until my marriage is recognized in all 50 states, that worry and fear will always be in the back of my mind. So in their eyes, nothing has changed!
After two months of wedded bliss I’m just as sure that Joel is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I still love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. Nothing has changed. And I’m glad! Of course we’ll evolve over time, just as we have over the last 10 years, but after 2 months it seems weird that people expect that my life has had some sudden change.
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